Mid-way through the afternoon, I peaked out the sliding glass door, thinking I spotted brown liquid in our plastic kiddy pool.

Brown?

Approaching the now “pond”, I looked up to see two little guilty faces.

Coke.

These two creative persons slipped soda from frig, creating a Coke pool! How cool they thought! The evidence of empty cans had been thrown over the fence.

Furious, I lost it! A seven year old should know better! I quickly took the other child home and disciplined my son.

Today’s circumstances with teens are much bigger than coke in the pool!

Last Wednesday, I received the dreaded phone call. “Mom, I had a car accident.” Though many years later, I still felt the urge to loose it. But time and experience whispered to me, “Respond don’t react!”

Driving to the front of the high school, I had to talk myself down the whole way there. “It’s going to be alright. It’s just a car. Show compassion. How would you want to be treated?” It’s a good thing I live a ways from school!

I’d love to say I handled it perfectly, but that would be untrue. With the Lord’s help, though, this time, I didn’t loose it!

When you find yourself in the place where your mind and mouth are wanting very badly to react, giving your child a piece of your mind, breathe deep. Talk yourself down. When you give yourself time to calm down, the Holy Spirit has time to give you the response that you will need.

“They will know we are Christians by our love” applies to our kids too!

Then Jesus whispers to me as I read His Word, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I must be going to be awfully powerful today, because I feel so awfully weak. I guess I am exactly where I need to be to get the supernatural help I need. “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 – 10

Maybe you too feel weak today. Maybe raising children has made you want to raise the white flag of surrender. Maybe yesterday no one in your house acknowledged it was Mother’s Day. Maybe the responsibilities you face this week seem bigger than the heart and strength inside your body.

You’re in the right place, my friend. It is here, when we are at our weakest, that He is at His strongest.

Jesus, Monday morning brings a new list of responsibilities and challenges. Help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that You and I can’t handle together. And not just handle, but conquer and have victory over. Amen

My teen children are on the cusp of adulthood, yet I am hanging on with white clenched knuckles.

It looks like this:

“Did you practice piano yet?” “No, I’ll do it later.”

“Your room needs picking up. Stop what you are doing and do it now.” “I planned to do it when I went to bed.”

“Did you meet with your college counselor and get your classes for summer?” “I will next week.”

Why do I feel the need to micromanage my kid’s lives?

Of all people, Pharoah taught me today.

In Exodus 1, he gives instructions, “Look, these people have become much too numerous for us…if war breaks out, they’ll join the enemy and fight against us…so put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labor.”

Pharoah saw changes happening with the Israelites; they were growing. These changes created one strong feeling: fear. I saw in Pharoah:

Fear is the imputes of control. 

Fear is the root growing my need to control. It’s not my desire to see my daughter improve in her musical abilities, nor am I wanting to be sure my other daughter learns to keep a clean house. It’s not that I want my son to get the best classes before they are taken. My desire is control and that control is rooted in fear.

So what am I afraid of?

I’m afraid my daughter will waste my money when she doesn’t practice piano.

I’m afraid my girl will waste her time and not pick up her room.

I’m afraid my son will waste years if he doesn’t plan his college course.

I saw the results when Pharoah controlled the Israelites. “They made their lives bitter…” (Exodus 1:14) and ultimately, Pharoah’s fear brought them death (Exodus 1:16).

I’ve got to open my eyes to what I am destroying with my control. I’ve got to get God’s perspective.

God has a lot to say about this root spreading through the garden of my life. “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 2:17 ESV

Power, love, self-control; these are his way, not fearful living.

So what if I gave Jesus all of these fears? He would:

1) keep me from building walls of communication between my children and I

2) lift my anger and anxiety

3) allow my children to learn from consequences

Just listing the possible benefits of living without controlling fear causes me to sigh; to breathe deep and know that is exactly what I want.

Could you possibly want that too? Maybe it’s not a child, but a husband, boyfriend, friendship or employee. If so, what area are you struggling to control and what could Jesus do if you let go of your fear?

Jesus, I’ve got to over come this. Each day I’m adding bricks of control to the wall in my relationships. If I need to teach something, give me Holy Spirit inspired ideas and if I need to just be quiet, empower me to do so! Amen

I know what time to get up, get breakfast for my family, get them off to school and work, spend time with Jesus, start writing. For the most part, I know what to expect each day. That is until the unexpected happens. When alarms don’t go off, family is sick or poor choices bring painful consequences. That’s when the chaos begins.

Sometimes this chaos is a result of decisions we have made, but often, by no choice of our own, we are a part of other’s chaos. It’s in this place that I can find myself struggling; struggling with judgment and anger. Struggling to get on my knees and ask God for His protection in the chaos.

I know my God can bring the calm in the chaos; He showed me this morning.

In Exodus 11, the worst of the plagues is getting ready to  hit Egypt; the first born male of each family will be dead. God gives this promises to His people,

“There will be loud wailing throughout Egypt—worse than there has ever been or ever will be again.  But among the Israelites not a dog will bark at any person or animal.’ Then you will know that the Lord makes a distinction between Egypt and Israel.”

Peace. Calm. While all around the Israelites there was unimaginable pain, God gave His people peace.

Life can be a lot like a tornado storm moving from calm to chaos in a matter of minutes. But God offers His people calm in the chaos as we purpose to live each day hidden in Him. Take shelter, my friend, and find His peace.

Jesus, there is one thing that is predictable. You said that in this life we will have trouble, but You have overcome the world. (John 16:33) Overcome the world in my life, in my chaos and trouble today. Amen

The winner of Wednesday’s signed copy of “His Revolutionary Love” and a gift card to Starbuck’s is Linda  who posted at May 2, 2012 at 8:03 am. I am so glad you are getting this book to share with your grandchildren! Please email me your full name and address at Lynn@LynnCowell.com and I’ll get it right out!

Since we can’t literally give our children our faith, how can we best share our faith?

I believe natural conversations can be an answer; conversations started through stories, statements and scriptures.

Sharing a story can be so easy! Who can refute your testimony? I share with my kids what God is doing in my life . A prayer answered, a friend healed…each one is an opportunity to draw attention to my king.

Statements are short little comments I make here and there which point to Jesus. Today was a gorgeous day in Charlotte; a perfect spring day. I just could not help sharing with Madi on our way home from softball, “Isn’t Jesus just so good to give us a day like today?” Gratitude spoken not only gives glory to God; it can be contagious too!

Scripture sharing can either spontaneous or scheduled; I like both! When I have found a scripture in my time with Jesus that really stands out, I tell my kids or text and tweet it to them. If it encourages me, chances are it will encourage them too.

I also have scheduled times to share; every morning at breakfast and during a small group with their friends. I love these times because it allows me to know that even if stories and statements don’t happen, I have made room to share scripture with them on a regular basis.

That is one reason I wrote “His Revolutionary Love”; so moms and daughters would have a resource to learn more about Jesus’ crazy love together. Does this sound like a way you’d like to connect with your girl? Just check out the free leadership guide and first chapter under my “freebies” tab.

Today, I’m giving away a free signed copy of “His Revolutionary Love” as well as a gift card to Starbuck’s where you and your child can share stories, statements and scripture together! In order for your name to be put in today’s drawing, just share with us which one of these three you feel works best for you to share with those you love! Then, be sure to stop by on Friday when I will share the winner!

At least it seems to at the Cowell house! Sometimes, it’s relatively small things. Like forgetting to put chlorine in our pool all winter and pulling the cover off to find a deep, dark swamp. (Who, me?) Other times, the darkness is life altering. You’re praying for a loved one, asking God to turn them around, only to find out they have gone deeper into the pit of dark living. Discouragement threatens to pull you into the pit as well.

I know this is how Moses had to feel. He had obeyed God; gone to Pharoah and delivered the message. But the entire situation only got worse. In Exodus 6:6 – 23, not only did they have to continue the back breaking work of making bricks from scratch, now they had to get the supplies themselves as well! The people of God were furious with Moses; it was his fault that now the work was harder than ever and they blamed him.

Of course, Moses had done nothing but obey God. Obeying God, though, had made the entire situation worse…at least for the time being.

That’s the way life is sometimes. We sense God calling us, but when we obey, the situation gets worse.

Your child is struggling in public school, so you take him out to home school. For a time, his learning seems to go downhill; your in-laws blame you.

Your family time is suffocating, so you back off from volunteering so much at church in order to invest in each other. For a time, the church staff thinks you’re wrong.

You’ve raised your child to worship and follow hard after God, lived it out too, but now she’s “finding her own way” off at college. Some say you must have done something wrong.

Friend, when you have obeyed God and followed His Word and things only get worse, just know, that like the Israelites, God’s blessings are yet to come! When we make choices that follow the truth God has laid out for us, but it just doesn’t seem to working, we can be confident that God is setting things up to give Himself glory! Our job is to continue to obey; keeping our eyes on Him and His faithfulness and not on the immediate things before us. In Exodus 6:3, God revealed Himself as “El-Shaddai – God Almighty” and He wants to do the same in you!

It’s all about His glory and not our’s. “…Then you will know I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt.” (Exodus 6:7)

During this season, don’t be like the Israelites; don’t become so discouraged that you won’t listen to encouragement. When Moses came to give them God’s word, it says, “…but they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and cruel bondage.” Read God’s word, listen to sermons online, spend time with friends who will encourage you when the pit is dark and deep. Know that God is setting the stage for a mighty work of freedom and deliverance in your life!

Jesus, not only does my situation seem deep and dark, but sometimes I feel dark too! Thank you for encouraging me to look to You and know that you are faithful and are at work, even when I don’t see it. I can’t wait to experience your mighty work of freedom for me and my family. Amen

Ooooooo….my girl was mad! Her teacher had called out her mistake in class; making her feel stupid. Already struggling in this subject, her embarrassment just made things worse. She shared with me, “My initial reaction was anger! I wanted to lash out at her. Then I thought, “What is going on in her life that makes her want to pick on little ‘ole me?” and so I prayed for her.”

I could hardly believe my girl’s words…she prayed for her?

Do you know,  her grade in that class has gone from a D to a B in a very short time? I knew God was blessing her but today, through the life of Job, I got why:

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.” Job 42:10

After Job prayed. After Job had prayed for the very friends who ground his heart in the dirt during the most trying time of his life. After he had been accused time and time again of having a unrepentant heart. After he prayed for those who had offended him, the Lord gave.

I’d love to say I had taught my girl to do this, but I don’t remember doing that. I know who did; the Holy Spirit whispered to her heart that day and on that day, she obeyed.

Is there someone in your life who has offended you? If not, there is sure to be just around the corner! Let’s learn from the experience of Job and my girl: let’s pray for that one who has offended us and in return, reap the blessings that come!

Our kids think teasing is just normal. They don’t see their sarcastic tweet about what she did last night as bullying. Their covert posts seem benign to them, yet everyone knows who they are putting down.

It’s not ok to bully…for any reason. It’s not ok to call someone names. Not at school; not on the internet. Not in a text; not in a tweet. Not to a friend; not to an enemy. Not what’s true; not a lie.

The internet has given our kids bravery in the worst sort of way. Things they would never have enough guts to say to someone’s face, are proudly typed out on a screen.

Let’s teach our kids: think twice about the things you say and the things you type.

Literally, read it twice and wonder:

What if I put this post on Jesus’ Facebook page? Would He be good with it? If my text accidently went to Jesus, would that be alright? If Jesus followed me on Twitter, would He be proud or ashamed?

Everything word spoken, written, typed or texted – needs to honor him. Let’s teach our kids: be careful with the words you choose.

Would you like to bring the  ”Revolutionary Love” to your city? We are booking for fall! Head to www.LynnCowell.com and click on “Speaking” for more information!

 His Revolutionary Love Conference helps teens:

• Create confidence leading to a higher self-worth by discovering Christ’s life-altering love.
• Make choices that lead to a fruitful future, rather than a victim of emotionally-based decisions.
• Shift faith in Jesus from just a parental influence to a personal, growing relationship.
• Develop and stick to boundaries that protect the heart, mind, and body.
• Communicate with guys and other girlfriends in a manner that’s healthy and positive.

But what about the decisions that are within our control? 

What’s a girl to do when she wants something and she’s prayed, waited and she’s doesn’t have a clear answer? No stop light; but not a clear green one either.

My husband and I have felt in this place…for years! Like you, I want to be in the perfect place God has for me; not ahead of Him and not behind. I just want to be in His will, but I don’t have a clear “yes” or “no”.

Yesterday, I was comforted by His words in Job (I know, Job of all places!)

“God is mighty, but he does not despise anyone! HE is mighty in both power and understanding. He never takes his eyes off the innocent…If they are bound in chains and caught up in a web of trouble, he shows them the reason. He shows them their sins of pride. He gets their attention and commands that they turn from evil.”Job 36:5, 7a, 8 – 10 NLT

When my heart is to honor him through obedience and I am seeking to do that every day in every situation and relationship, he sees that. He never takes his eyes off of me. When I am yearning to stay closely walking with him, he’ll show me if I’m heading in the wrong direction! Pointing out my sin if I am getting stuck; He’ll get my attention so I’ll turn around.

If honoring Jesus is the center of all you are and all you do, you, too can be confidence that he will guide. You can rest assured like Job, “God is leading you away from danger…to a place free from distress.” Job 36:16

Write Job 36:16 out and carry it with you today. When anxiety tries to squeeze your heart, thank Jesus that He is leading you away from danger to a place that is free from distress.

Waiting…I have yet to meet a person who actually likes to wait! Yesterday, Mariah and I sat in the waiting room of the dermatologist. After only 10 minutes, I heard a very deep sigh. “What’s wrong?” Through gritted teeth she informed me, “I have so much homework I need to get to!” Waiting…

I bet like me, there is something you are waiting on God for. I am…waiting for my children to seize the truth that God’s way is the best way…every time.  As I watch them struggle through trying to figure out life, every fiber of my being wants to take control and live it for them. I’ve already been there, right? Even though I know they have to work out their faith on their own, I squirm inside my skin, wanting to fix this and do that for them.

What’s a girl to do while she’s waiting if she can’t fix it?

Our church is in the middle of a series called Waiting Room…how timely! This past Sunday, Holly Furtick, said this principal:

What seems like a pointless or painful waiting room maybe God’s most important work room. 

She encouraged us, that while we are in the waiting room, resist the urge to complain and fill our situation with praise just like Paul and Silas did while in the jail (Acts 16:15). They used the time of waiting for God to move as a time to preoccupy themselves with fulfilling God’s purpose instead of trying to figure out a way to escape their problem.

I’m so guilty of wasting time trying to figure out how to solve my problem. How can I influence my kids the most? What books can I buy? What conversation can I instigate?

Maybe you do this with your problem. How can I meet a Christian guy; I’ve waited so long! What can I do to get more attention at work; snagging that promotion? How can I get my husband’s eyes off the tv and on me?

The problem with this, as Holly pointed out, is the thing we’re waiting for is a moving target! As soon as we get that thing, we begin waiting for the next thing! We get married, we want children. We get that promotion; we’re already looking at the next.

Let’s grasp a hold of the fact that the waiting may actually be the destination. The place we are in is the place God wants us to be. God wants me in a place where I have to depend on the Holy Spirit to do the work in my kid’s lives; it grows my dependence and faith too! This is the time and place to develop my prayer life and listening ears so that when the Holy Spirit opens the doors to use me, their hearts are ready and I am too!

Are you’re teen kids you’re waiting room? If so, join me each week for my “Wednesday Wisdom Tips”! Just click on the box above to begin receiving them straight to your email!

What are you waiting on God for? How can you be “working” while you are waiting?

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