Today I’ve invited my friend and author, Nicole O’Dell to be my guest. Nicole O’Dell, founder of Choose NOW Ministries and host of Choose NOW Radio: Parent Talk and Teen Talk, is a youth culture expert who writes and speaks to preteens, teenagers, and parents about how to prepare for life’s tough choices. She’s just released an amazing resource for girls…Girl Talk. Filled with questions your girl is asking, even if only in her head, she’ll find the answers she’s looking for!

Nicole…introduce us to “Girl Talk”!

Q: I recently lost a lot of weight and started high school at the same time. I’m getting all sorts of attention from boys, and I just don’t know what to do about it because it’s so new to me. I kind of like it. . .but I’m nervous. What should I do?

That’s a question I would have asked if I’d written to Girl Talk at the start of my freshman year of high school. But, I didn’t know to ask. I didn’t know I was facing a challenge. I simply reacted to things as I faced them. And I made mistakes. Many of them.

Each of us has a set of experiences and circumstances, some within our control, and some not, that shapes the way we look at choices, temptation, sin, peer pressure, and everything that comes up along the way. If we can help prepare girls before they find themselves staring peer pressure in the face, they’ll feel more equipped to stand strong. To say NO to whatever life throws at them.

Why girls?

Hmm. What is it about girls? That’s a great question. I guess I relate to them because I am one. But, more than that, I have an ache in my heart that wants to help ‘em out. I’ve said it 1000 times, but I’ll say it 1000 more, I’m sure. It’s the memory of the poor choices I made as a teen, and the results of those choices, that motivates me to help today’s teenagers avoid those same mistakes.

And bad decisions are one thing, but there’s also the stuff girls deal with that they have no control over: divorce, abuse, loss, grief, i

I’m a fixer.

When something isn’t quite right, I just can’t let it go. I’ve got to make it right. A peace keeper (not the same as a peace maker), I’ll go out of my way to make sure no anxiety exists…and often, I choose to cross the line. 

I cross the line from faith to fix, get in God’s way and make a mess.

I can be a lot like Sarai.

God gave the promise that He would bring a son to Sarai and Abram. As the head of his family, God chose to speak the promise to Abram and he was waiting in faith for God to do it.

But Sarai just couldn’t handle God’s timing. Waiting for God to work it out was stressful and as it mounted,  she just had to fix it.

At the brink of her anxiety, Sarai crosses the line in Genesis 16:2 and models for us what happens when as women we bypass God’s plan for our man to lead and take up our plan.

A Mess.

Take a minute to read this short story in Genesis 16: 1 – 16.

Here’s how Sarai’s plan went down:

1. Sarai leads

2. Abram follows

3. Sarai blames

4. Abram abdicates authority

A mess.

Their story is not so unlike mine. When I feel something is not going as planned or at the pace I want it to, I get involved; I try to lead instead of support. Nothing good ever comes of it.

Maybe you’re like me, and you too have a tendency to demonstrate a lack of trust in your man and your God by trying to fix things. Let’s take it from Sarai; that plan only leads to sin and a huge mess. When we experience tension today, let’s show both of our men that we trust their wisdom and judgement and let God do what he does best: work out all things together for our good.

PS…our girls are watching.

Have a prayer, promise or petition with God that you think isn’t heard? In fact, it feels dead?

Abraham did. “Your reward will be great.” God had said (Genesis 15:1). But there was nothing to show that would be true; in fact, quite the opposite. Abraham was getting older and older; Sarah too!

God gave Abraham instructions to sacrifice; to worship him in the middle of this unanswered, unchangeable situation.

Abraham obeyed.

Right in the middle of the praying and the worshiping, who shows up?

Vultures. Can you picture those hump shouldered, black as night birds swooping down to grab the animals right off the altar?

“but Abram chased them away.” Genesis 17:11

Abram didn’t freak or flee. He chased them away.

Friend, are you, like Abram, praying and worshiping God and right in the middle of your impossible you feel like you’re being attack?

Don’t freak and don’t flee. Chase away your enemy. Keep right on singing out those praises. Don’t quit speaking out thanksgiving. Because like Abram, if you continue to believe God, you’ll see His name glorified in your situation. That’s His purpose – that others will one day look at your impossible and say, “It had to be God”.

That’s what I’m praying, believing and thanking God in advance for in mine; I hope you’ll do it in your’s!

I’ll admit. I’ve got something in common with Abraham; I’m a deceiver too.

I would have never, ever believed it; until God nailed me one day in my garden.

Returning home from a short errand, I opened our garage door to find my husband’s car still home. I had hoped he would be gone; off to a men’s meeting at church. But he wasn’t. He was doing what needed to be done, and honestly, recharging after a long week through his yard work.

We met in the garage; he smiling; me faking it. “Hi honey!” Immediately, he saw it.

“You’re mad at me.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Really, I’m not.”

“You’re mad because I didn’t go to church.”

Embarrassed that he could see my disappointment, I tried one more time, “I am not.”

Tired of “playing my games”, he left with his weed eater. I headed to the garden. As I overturned the dirt in the soil, the Lord overturned the dirt in my heart. “You’re a liar, Lynn.” It stabbed like a knife. Honesty has always been important to me. I couldn’t be a liar! “You just lied and often lie to Greg about how you feel. Go make it right.”

I stayed on my knees in the dirt for awhile. Not praying. I only wish. I stayed down out of pride; not wanting to admit what was true. Trying to use deception as protection.

I have that in common with Abraham. I’m a deceiver too. Afraid the Egyptians would kill him for his wife, he told a lie. (Genesis 12:10 – 20) Me: I’m afraid truth will kill my relationships, so I hide.

I did finally get out of that dirt that day, follow the noise of the weed eater and apologize. It was so embarrassing, but felt better than God’s hand on my back.

I wish I could say I got over it, but that too would be a lie. I still struggle not to hide the fact that squirrels have damaged our attic, our taxes lie in a mess on my office floor or other issues that I know will cause my husband stress. I use deception as a protection. That’s not my Father’s way and He is teaching me honesty.

Psalm 36:9 tells us “For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.”

Jesus, I’ve got a whole day to practice living in the light today. Help me not to fear my troubles or try to carry loads that are meant to be shared. Help. Amen