Tuesday, January 20, 2015

10 Conversation Starters: #Youandyourgirl series

2015 Jan 10 conv main Square

(2.9 editor’s note, graphics for each day have now been added.  If you would like to learn more about the #youandyourgirl series, you can visit here)

10 Days of Conversation Starters provide 10 sparks for you and your girl to get a good conversation going. They are exactly what they are called: starters. Take the answer your girl gives you and continue with more questions to keep her talking and you learning more about your girl.

Let her know you want to learn more about her. Who can resist sharing with someone who wants to know you better?

Many of these questions are taken from conversations with my own girls. Some of the questions are just for fun; others are meant to open doors to deeper conversations. Both kinds of questions will help to bring you and your girl into a closer, deeper relationship!

You don’t have to be a mom to use them either! Friends, mentors, grandmas, teachers or aunts – any one who loves a girl can get the talking started!

The 10 Conversation Starters will all be loaded on Social Media every day in the mornings.  Be sure you are connected here  – all under Lynn Cowell:


#YouandYourGirl is a new monthly series.  Each month I will write a post that will announce the opportunity for you to connect with your girl.  In addition, if you missed the social media posts, or are not able to connect with me there, the previous month’s post will be updated with the graphics for you to download as needed.  Links will be provided in each post for easy access.

Last month’s focus was “Prayers for your Girl”.  You will find the post updated HERE with all the graphics loaded.  Share with everyone which prayer was most impacting for you.  Maybe it was the most difficult to pray, or there was one day where you may have seen a change in the girl you were praying for.  Let’s hear about them to encourage others.

The winner from yesterday’s post 3 Ways to Redefine Beautiful is Teresa Ball who posted January 19, 2015 at 11:20 am. Congratulations Teresa! Please email me your full name and address to Lynn@LynnCowell.com and I’ll get the Redefining Library.

Updated Feb 9, 2015.  With this month’s series now over and the next one beginning, we are providing all graphics and content to you.  Enjoy!

2015 Jan Conv day 1 SQUAREDay 1, 10 Conversation Starters for You and Your Girl:
If you only had 24 hours to live, how would you spend it?

The goal of today’s conversation starter is to find out what your girl sees as the most important things in her life. Her response tells you how she likes to have fun and who she likes to be with.

See this as your first opportunity in the study of your girl over the next ten days. You might even want to makes some notes after your conversations so you can remember what she says.

Then, take this information and plan ahead to incorporate some of the things you know now are her favorites.


2015 Conv Day 2 SQUAREDay 2: What are 3 favorite things you have done so far in life?

Are her favorite things something you can duplicate? Do you see a pattern? Maybe they all have to do with friends or family. It could be she loves to do things that are adventurous or outdoors. She might be the type of girl who likes to repeat activities because they make her comfortable. Study your girl.



IMG_0114Day 3: If you could change one thing, what would it be?

Today’s conversation starter can give you insight to your girl’s heart. Her answer might reveal her greatest heartache; the thing in her life that makes her most insecure.

You might discover something that could be changed and she just hasn’t realized it. On the other hand, her reply can give you information so you can comfort her.
Enjoy this season of getting to know this precious girl. Our children grow up. Those we mentor can reach stages where they no longer need us. Embrace these conversations today while you can.


2015 Conv Day 4 1200 X 900Day 4: What job would be the worst for you? Why?

Maybe you already knew the types of things your girl loathes. For others, today’s conversation will bring totally new insight.

Today’s question could lead to a gentle teaching moment. An encouragement to learn the gifts and talents God has given her and the knowledge that when we are doing work, which utilizes those gifts, we will enjoy life the most.

2015 Jan conv Day 5 1200 X 1150Day 5: What job would be the best for you?

A fun spin on yesterday’s question, today’s conversation can open the door to hear a bit of your girl’s dreams. How does she envision herself in her future?

You can ask all kinds of questions to keep this one rolling:

• Where would you like to work?
• How long would you have to go to school?
• What aspect of the job makes it the best for you?


2015 conv Day 6 SQUAREDay 6: What is the thing you are afraid of most?

Before today’s question, ask the Lord to give you His wisdom and His insight into your girl’s answer.

If she is open to talking more in depth, ask her when this fear came into her life. Take a moment to look up some scripture about fear such as 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” If she is open, pray together at the end of your conversation, asking the Lord to take away her fear and set her free in His love.

Day 7: What do you find most attractive in a guy?

Today’s question is one that could probably go on for hours!

After she shares with you what she finds attractive, if it fits the situation, share with her what you found attractive in her dad or your husband. Don’t get too serious, but at the same time, draw her attention to traits that reveal a guy’s character.

Try talking about movie characters you have watched together and admirable qualities in them. For instance, Will Turner is willing to risk his life to save Elizabeth’s in Pirates of the Caribbean. He demonstrates selflessness.

2015 Conv Day 8 SQUAREDay 8: What is the thing your friend does that upsets you the most?

Each one of us has a tender spot in our hearts where we are more apt to get hurt than another. For some of us it is honesty. For others it might be selfishness. The answer to this question tells you what your girl values most for what we value most we are most susceptible to getting hurt.

Share with your girl a time when you experienced hurt from a friend and you have chosen to forgive. This is an open door to teach her forgiveness is for our sakes, not just the one who is being forgiven.

SONY DSCDay 9: What is your favorite thing I do for you.

I love this question! There is nothing I love more than blessing someone by serving them. (Yep, you guessed it! My love language is acts of service!)

This is your opportunity to bless your child in the way they receive it best. Get the answer to this one and love on them like crazy!

2015 Conv Day 10 SQUAREDay 10: What 3 things do you want to do one day {Bucket list}?

I choose this question for the last day because this is the day to dream. What are the things you want to do before your lifetime is done?

Take this dream and maybe, just maybe, this could be the one thing you and your girl can do together before she leaves home one day. Who knows? With God, all things are possible!





  1. Carol Poortvliet says:

    I’m looking forward to this series Lynn. My teen doesn’t like to talk to me about herself and/or her friends. She’s constantly on the defense. So I’m hoping your conversation starters will get some interchanges started. Thank you for having a heart for teens.

    • Lynn Cowell says:

      I hope they do too, Carol! The teen years can be a hard season, but I have found them to also be very rewarding. Our kids give off signals that they don’t want to talk – even that they don’t want us in their lives at times. But they do! Oh how they do! Jesus – please show us how to open the door to love on them and then, pour in Your truth!

  2. How do we find this on Facebook? (What words are we searching for to connect?) Thank you.

  3. Megan Featherston says:

    I would like to cultivate in my own life a quiet and gentle spirit. I too often react instead of responding to my 16 year old daughter, Rylei. I truly hope to cultivate in her the faith that she is truly “wanted” by God. Her father and his family “abandoned” her after beating her when she was 11. She doesn’t understand and it has left a profound hurt in her heart. To rid the pain, she’s turned to cutting and other self destructive behavior. We’ve tried counseling, medicine, Bible studies, everything. Only Jesus can fill her void. Please pray. Thank you.

    • Lynn Cowell says:

      Oh Jesus, you see the depth of the pain in Rylei’s life. Jesus, they need a miracle. Only you can reach and heal the deepest pain she feels. Only you can make her whole…and you can! You healed the blind and the deaf. You raised the dead! You can heal Rylei. Please do it Jesus! Amen

    • Lynn Cowell says:

      Hi Megan, I think we already connected either through email or Facebook :)

      Don’t give up. Keep loving on her. Your love, empowered by Jesus’ love, can help to heal her wounded heart. Never discount the power of Jesus’ presence and the Holy Spirit. The key is getting our kids under the influence of both! Don’t stop taking her church, praying and pouring the truth of God’s word into her heart. HE CAN HEAL!

  4. Ericka Watson says:

    I’m starting a day late but I am looking forward to doing this with my daughter, I did the Prayers for my Girl last month and loved it.
    Thank you!

    • Lynn Cowell says:

      Great! I am so glad you are joining us, Ericka! I pray it will strengthen your relationship with your girl!

    • Lynn Cowell says:

      I’m so glad Ericka! It is my goad, with the Lord’s help and creativity, to do one series each month this year! Next month it will be ways to help your child fall in love with Jesus, in honor of Valentine’s Day (which could be called “Single Awareness Day” for so many!!)

  5. I love these monthly series, Lynn. This conversations with your girl has got me thinking. Thanks so much for this. By the way, I just started reading Magnetic with my 15 year old! It had her laughing and thinking (instead of rolling her eyes and thinking, “Here mom goes again!” I was so glad. Look forward to reading it together weekly. Oops, gotta run go use that conversation starter now! :-)

    • Lynn Cowell says:

      I am so glad they are helping you get those conversations started! Thank you for being an intentional mom, Betsy! You are making a difference in your girl’s life!

  6. I’m just now discovering your website and the 10 conversation starters but I’m excited to start talking with my 12YO daughter, who, for now, is fairly open and chatty about her friends. I’m hoping this will lead to even more conversation and a closer bond for us. Thank you for your hard work!

    • Lynn Cowell says:

      Yeah Heather! I hope you will join us each month for our #youandyourgirl series. In March, we’re going to talk about preparing our girls for dating…just in time for prom! You’ll find my posts on my social media outlets: Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and Instagram :)

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