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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Wednesday Wisdom Tip – Does Your Child Need a Hearing Aid?

Learning to hear God’s voice is so important for our children. They need to know and experience the power of God’s faithfulness for themselves and the sooner the better.

Dana Candler has called this process “developing a history of God”. When our children trust Him and find that He’s faithful, it empowers them with confidence to trust Him the next time.

As parents, we can either help or hinder this process. It can be so tempting to be God’s voice for them.

Our child asks us our opinion on whether or not they should go on a missions trip this summer. As their parent, of course we have an opinion. We could give it, taking advantage of the opportunity to influence them in the direction we want them to go. We could encourage them to seek God first.

Sometimes, the right thing to do is point them in the right direction right away, but not always. We can encourage them to go to God for themselves and seek His wisdom and guidance. Teaching them to consult their heavenly Father first is more powerful than teaching them to come to us first. We don’t want to create children who need us as hearing aids.

From here, we can help them to discern how to hear Him speak and probably at some point along the way, we will sense the Lord leading us to share what we think is best. But let’s raise wiser daughters by teaching them to always go to Father God before they come to us.


Monday, February 27, 2012

One Word

“Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2: 9 – 11


One word. One powerful earthquaking word – Jesus.

At some point we find that it’s the only word for the dire situation we’re in.

The only word that can help.

The only word that matters.

The only word we need.


Why is his name so powerful?

The name of Jesus carries the full force that created the universe; with just his word. “Let there be light.” That’s all it took and it came into existence.

His name invokes the One who spoke and blind saw; crippled ran.

I need his name when I’m blind to see my next turn in life or when crippling thoughts threaten to take me out. It’s ok; I let them take me down. Down to my knees where I can cry out once again to that powerful name – Jesus. In my one word prayer, I plead with him to come and help me. And he is there. “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5



“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12


Josie’s mind wouldn’t stop; at the oddest times she would have an onslaught of anxious thoughts. Did anyone else have these thoughts? She was too afraid to ask.

 What Josie doesn’t know is her mind is a battlefield; a spiritual war zone. The enemy of her heart pulls out every weapon to try and cause her to breakdown and run away from her love. Satan hates the relationship we have with Jesus because he hates Jesus.

Jesus has promised us nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8:38 – 39)

So what’s a girl to do when anxious thoughts continually rack up in her mind? Run to the Word of God. Only one weapon can fight a battle of this intensity: God’s word. In today’s verse we’re told this battle is not against flesh and blood; it’s not you! It is against spiritual forces of evil and the only thing they listen to is someone more powerful than them: Jesus.

You need to know God’s word to use this weapon. Do you struggle with anxious thoughts? Here is God’s word for you: “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3. Write it down in your planner. Send a text to yourself. Perfect peace is our’s, as we trust him. Fix your thoughts not on you, not on others, but on Jesus!

Jesus, when I become anxious, I will speak your word to my heart. Amen


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Wednesday Wisdom Tip – Make Space

Trips, contests, sporting events. We want to be there; experience each special moment in our kids lives.

But does our child want us at these special events?

Saturday, Mariah and I took a road trip for a competition for the National Association of Teachers of Singing. I felt honored to be there. My middle child has been competed for two years; this was first time I got to be there.

In events past, she traveled with her teacher or others students, so this was an honor.

Chatting about all things girl during the long drive, Mariah told me she was glad I was there; in fact, happy each time I came to her events.

“Why, then, do kids sometimes act like they don’t want their parents there?”

Her wisdom: you always ask.

You know why I ask? Because I didn’t with my first child, Zachary. I assumed, as his mom, it was my right and place.

When it has come to Mariah, I have tried to be more mindful that she is creating her own world; a world she might not always want me in.

When she was in 8th grade, she traveled to Italy with her choir; I didn’t go. Felt she needed space. In 9th grade, she traveled with her choir to New York City; I didn’t go. Again, I sensed she was still becoming her own girl.

But the coolest thing happened…she began to want me to come. She began to text me from school, “Quick, Mom, they have one spot left for the trip. Hurry and get in!” Amazing…

Since then, I have gone on every trip I could, at Mariah’s request.

I’m not saying this will work with every child or that you shouldn’t go on trips when you feel prompted to, but for me and my girl, the space in the beginning made a space to draw close today.


(PS Today’s picture is my youngest daughter, Madi, at her choir’s winter ball. No…I didn’t chaperon this one! Still giving this one space!)


Monday, February 20, 2012

I’m Still Lovely…

“I am weathered but still elegant,…Don’t look down on me because I’m dark, darkened by the sun’s harsh rays. My brothers ridiculed me and sent me to work in the fields. They made me care for the face of the earth, but I had no time to care for my own face.” Song of Solomon 1: 5-6 (Msg)


I need to feel beautiful.

I need to know that not only are my insides pretty; but my outsides are too!

Do you think I’m weird?

You shouldn’t, because you need this as much as I do!

Our self-esteem, in part, hinges on whether or not we feel beautiful.

Ever notice on a day when you’re hair flopped or your jeans are too tight that you have to fight not to be cranky or sad? Maybe it has something to do with Eve and the whole sin/fall thing. To be honest, I’m not sure. We just need to find a way to not allow these externals to drive our internals!

In today’s verse, Song of Solomon 1:5, the bride says, “I am dark, but lovely.” Her dark skin in Old Testament times meant she had to spend her days in the fields working instead of having enough money to be able to be indoors. Today she’d say, “I am sunburned, but I’m still gorgeous!” Her skin isn’t perfect, but she’s still pretty.

Where does a girl get that type of confidence because I want it!

From her Love. Read Song of Solomon 1: 1 – 4; love allows her to see herself as beautiful no matter what is happening on the outside.

Let the truth of God’s luxuriant love empower you with true confidence that goes way beyond what our human eye can see. On good days and horrible ones as well, let’s quote the bride, “I am  lovely!”

Jesus, you see me as beautiful. I need to know it. Amen


Friday, February 17, 2012

It’s OK to Be Needy

“But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish.” Psalm 9:18


It’s OK to be needy.

Really, it’s ok to be needy.

In our culture it’s not, I know. Being needy has been a bad thing; worse than bad if you’re a woman! A lot of women fought very hard for our rights: the right to vote, the right to work the same job for the same pay as a man and many more.

The sad thing is in all that fighting, we lost something. We lost our need to be dependent.

Needy, when it comes to God, is not bad at all! Quite the opposite. It is quite good.

All of us are needy; we came into that world that way. We were completely dependent in every way: food, shelter, affection. As we become adults, our dependence lessens.

God calls us children of God for a reason. We need to be always dependent on him; he’s the only one who can fill all our needs with a pure motive and unconditional love.

It is imperative that we learn as early as possible to run to Jesus to have these needs met. When our neediness is not filled by Jesus, it becomes a force of destruction in our lives. This force is so powerful and deceptive, we can get pulled into its wake and not realize it until the damage is already done.

As radically changed, revolutionized by love, women and girls, Jesus’ love fills us, giving us the strength, courage and foundation we need and we are changed and our lives will show it!


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wednesday Wisdom Tip – Overestimate



I’ve got some great wisdom today from a 17 year old I’m so excited to share with you. (Be sure to read the whole post to find out our winner from Monday!)

Mariah’s advice today:

Don’t underestimate the spiritual capacity of your child.

We need to challenge our kids that Jesus is more than their Sunday morning friend.

Share with your child what Jesus is teaching you; ask them what they think. Challenge them to get past the “me” centered mentality and to be like Jesus.

If you are reading your Bible through in a year, ask them to join you.

If you are fasting because you are desperate for God, challenge them to join you.

Teach them that THEY are the church; it isn’t a place to go. If you were to come to church with me this Sunday you would see youth everywhere! They are there with us at 6:45 a.m. setting up the kid’s rooms…every week. They are behind the video cameras, taping the service. They are lining up on the sidewalk, greeting as people come in. They are behind the resource table, helping others find materials to help them grow. They serve and love it because it gives them purpose. It pushes them to see beyond themselves. They are everywhere…and they love it.

Get them involved in your community. Push them to show their faith. Need ideas? Check out Love Week here in Charlotte.

This generation wants SOMETHING to live for! They want to have a reason to exist. You, my friend, can teach them that reason. His name is Jesus.


Congratulations to our winner, Yvonne…the last commenter who posted last night at 10:56 p.m. Please contact me and I’ll get your books and CD out to you. Just email me at

Do you have a question you would like me or the teens I mentor answer? Just leave a comment below and we’ll address in the weeks to come!


Monday, February 13, 2012

Affirmation, Attention and Affection

Affirmation, attention and affection? What child doesn’t need the three A’s? What adult for that matter!


When kids are little, the three A’s are so easy! Constantly learning something new, it takes very little effort to add: “I’m so glad you learned to tie your shoes!”; affirming their daily growth.


They are willing to cuddle; even approach you first!


Their every action demands attention; a blink of the eye and they are gone! (Read the funniest story about kids on Lysa TerKeurst’s site!)


Now that my kids are 20, 17 and 14, the three A’s take a lot more effort, especially with the 20 year old! Some days, when they are struggling through these tough years,struggle to find something to affirm. I have to work to not give only negative attention when I keep passing the room that’s a tsunami! I have to remember that just because she is taller than me, she still wants hugs and kisses from me!


I know that Jesus wants to help us give our kids what they need. Because of this, I think we should ask Him for triggers.


Little things that help us to slow down and remember to hug our child, kiss our child, text, twitter and Facebook our child! An alarm on our cell phone that reminds us to make a snack for our child while they do their homework. A “pinch” when picking up their coat or shoes to tell them we love them. A prompt to walk them to the door when they leave if only to give them a hug and a kiss good bye. A spark to set it all down, make eye contact and hear ALL the details of the day.


My daughter Madi came home from a whirlwind trip out of town last weekend…right during my favorite show! It was all I could do to turn it off and hear her 35 minute, blow by blow description. But you know what? I’ll never have that chance again. I was grateful to my Jesus for helping me to give my girl the attention she wanted!


One way we can give our girls attention they need is to spend time with them in God’s word and teach them to look for attention from Jesus!


Today I having an opportunity to win a give away. I am giving away two signed copies of my book His Revolutionary Love to one reader. Ask Jesus if He would have you carve out time to go through this book with your girl and maybe her best friend too! (She needs affirmation, attention and approval as well!) That’s the gift for your girl and for you I am giving away a copy of my CD message Building a Bridge to Your Child’s Heart.


To be entered into the give away, just share with me by clicking on the “comments” button below: which one does your child need from you most: affirmation, attention or affection. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day which can be especially hard on teen girls. How can you communicate to your girl that you and Jesus are crazy about her?


Be sure to leave your email address so I can let you know who won! Stop back on Wednesday for my Wednesday Wisdom Tip when I will announce the winner!


Saturday, February 11, 2012

A Love That Lasts Beyond This Valentine’s Day!

You wish for a love that lasts. A love that’s real. A love that’s different. Maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong place.
- Lynn Cowell, His Revolutionary Love
I’m making this book a must-read for each of my teen daughters. Lynn knows how to connect with the heart of today’s teen.
-Lysa TerKeurst
New York Times best-selling 
author of Made to Crave
Do you want to be a girl with confidence?
 …If so, you’ve picked up the right book.

-Brenda Warner,
coauthor of First Things First
 with husband, Super Bowl-
winner Kurt Warner
HIS Revolutionary Love Book CoverButterfly

In His Revolutionary Love, mother, mentor, speaker, and author Lynn Cowell guides young women to embrace Jesus’ life-altering love and the confidence in Christ that provides the foundation for healthy self-esteem.


Featuring personal stories of the author that don’t gloss over her frustrations and failings–as well as stories from teens who are experiencing the pressures, difficulties, and confusion so many young women face–this book shows teen girls how Jesus’ unchanging love changes absolutely everything.



  • His Revolutionary Love Leader’s Guide (includes discussion questions and activities for each His Revolutionary Love chapter)
  • Revolutionary Love Heart & Body Covenant
  • Are You Ready to Date?–An exploration for you and your girl
  • 9 Days of Revolutionary Prayer for Your Girl . . . and still more. All Free!

As a youth worker and mother of three teenagers, Lynn Cowell interacts with teens on a daily basis. She is part of Proverbs 31 Ministries’ national speaking team and helps teens through one-on-one mentoring, leading small groups, and teaching at conferences. 


Regular Price: $12.99

Sale Price: $10.39

Use coupon code BK21E. See details below. Good through February 29, 2012

Shop Now  


Download the FREE Leader’s Guide here. 


Full Resources! Download additional FREE resources


Friday, February 10, 2012

Stack Your Prayers

Valentine’s Day is for giving, right? Join me today over at my friend’s Karen Ehman’s blog where I am giving away a special Valentine’s gift for the girl in your life!

I am so sorry my link on Wednesday didn’t work! For the free resources on dating and boundaries, just click on “freebies” on my site:

Sitting down to have my normal time with Jesus, I needed some “extra”. Life can be hard for us mamas. I wrote in my journal “Jesus, water me. Fill me up; I’m doing a lot of pouring!” That’s what mamas do…we pour.

 Sensing that my “normal” wasn’t going to cut it, I had the thought to listen to a sermon. I had already had three people tell me that I needed this sermon. It was the day to do it.

[Read more...]